Who you choose to spend your life with most certainly determines your success or failure in everything.

“Man keeps wife company while she battles cancer” is a post that has gone viral. A mom and wife who has to be quarantined due to nasty radiation treatments for cancer picked the right man: he has stationed himself outside her room to keep her company through the door. Outstanding!

At the age I met my husband, it was easy to believe true love prevails and fixes everything. But with 33 years logged in since that first date, I know the challenges or trials you get are not what you expect.

In Sickness & In Health

Over the years we have had our run of typical marriage stuff – family, child-rearing, finances, etc. Perhaps the biggest test was when I was literally dying six years ago. My husband told me he would see me after surgery when he knew the chance was slim. He slept on the couch by my recovery chair for months during my whole medical drama, permanently damaging his neck and back. He took care of all the medical devices attached to me to the point that the home care nurse fired herself.

Under this exceptional treatment, I was naïve to think all spouses were the same, and could endure the same challenge. I have since learned…and witnessed…this is NOT the case.

Life’s Challenges

It’s not your fault. When love hits you can’t fathom the bad stuff and that’s a good thing I suppose. But take a moment to envision this person in not so great situations….tough stuff. Make it or break it stuff. Is this person similar or contrary to your morals, thinking patterns or financial ideals? What are the parenting philosophies and/or goals for the future? Can he/she handle a medical crisis?

Allow Aunty Jen to give some unsolicited advice: who you end up sharing your life with will be the most important choice of your existence. Make sure your partner won’t be satisfied with pushing the beds together on your honeymoon. And will talk you down when you are convinced your child is dying from not getting enough breast milk. Or will make the right financial choices so you can live your dreams now and in retirement. Or takes the high road when a moral dilemma occurs. Or will be there when it gets really hairy…when your life is most fragile. (Thank you honey!)

Life is good. It’s even better with the right person by your side! Good luck to that wife on her battle with cancer! I pray you and your husband continue to battle it together!

Aunty Jen

Aunty Jennifer Corder, an Arizona native, is co-owner of Kajukenbo Arizona with her husband Professor Kelly Corder, and sons Sifu Nicolas and Sibak Cameron. She graduated from Arizona State University with a degree in Family Resources and Human Development. She is a black belt in Kajukenbo with over 15 years of martial arts and self-defense training. She and her husband also founded Redrock Software Corporation in 1991 and enjoys working with her family in both businesses.